The past few months have served as a reminder that life can throw a lot of difficult situations your way at once. In the past, this deluge of disasters would have overwhelmed me. But now, I know I have the tools to deal with each challenge. Note: This post mentions the loss of loved ones and suicide. It felt like a hurricane passed through my life First, I know I’m not the only person dealing with difficult situations. Between the pandemic and the invasion of Ukraine, the wor

As I shared in October 2021, I’ve officially been diagnosed with the autoimmune disease Sjogren’s syndrome plus four other health conditions. But before I was diagnosed, I struggled to understand what was wrong with my body — and my life. I wasn’t feeling good, despite my attempts at self-care. I was experiencing a lot of body pain and there was soooo much stress. Even the smallest things, like checking my email, could be overwhelming. Normally, I try to have no more than 80

As I shared in January, I finished off 2020 by getting tested for Sjögren’s syndrome, an autoimmune disease that affects about 4 million people in the U.S. The results are in and it’s official: I have Sjogren’s as well as four other conditions: celiac disease, pelvic congestion syndrome and interstitial cystitis. My blood work indicated that Sjogren’s may be the bigger problem. But my doctor said I would feel more of an immediate health impact by treating the celiac disease f

Immediately upon returning from our family’s epic road trip, I went to a rheumatologist to discuss the symptoms I’d experienced before our adventure. Why a rheumatologist? It was the only doctor I hadn’t seen. Over the past decade, I’ve talked to neurologists, oncologists and gynecologists about my symptoms. I’ve meditated, taken every type of yoga class and even attended an ayahuasca retreat. (More on that later.) I’d tried everything. Except seeing a rheumatologist. Within

Last year, Carlos and I spent six weeks traveling through Europe and Africa. We brought along our four kids — and our full-time jobs — to combine a family vacation with a working holiday. We had such a great time, we couldn’t wait to do it again this year. Originally, we planned to travel overseas with our youngest daughter, Jade, the last child to leave the nest. But when COVID-19 hit, everything changed, including our travel plans. As we learned more about the virus and how

When Trayvon Martin was murdered in 2012, it hit way too close to home. In more ways than one. First was the proximity of Trayvon’s murder. The Sanford neighborhood where he was shot is only 30 minutes from my house. But even more jarring was the fact that Trayvon reminded me so much of my son, Malcolm. Malcolm, like Trayvon, is Black. At the time, they both dressed alike: hoodies and baggy pants. Malcolm and his friends were always at the convenience store blowing their allo

Last October, which feels like a million years ago, I started seeing a therapist. Something had happened in my personal life that affected me deeply. I was angry and hurt. I just couldn’t stop ruminating on the situation. But then, after about six months of sessions, something changed. I started looking at the situation differently. While I was still unhappy about what had occurred, I started finding little silver linings in the experience. In our sessions, my therapist had e

Law schools are changing. When I was a student, we spent our days analyzing cases and learning how to identify potential issues. Even today, when I visit a business, I can easily spot 10 potential problems that could cause liability issues for the company. But now, I read that law schools are going beyond just analyzing cases to offer students everything from meditation lessons to mock trial experiences. And while I love the way things are heading, I think law schools could b

Over the holidays, my friends and I went to an improv show at the local comedy club. One of the skits was called “The Emotional Carpool.” In the first scene, a man hops into the car and he’s ecstatic. He tells the other passengers that he’s on his way to the hospital to meet his baby for the first time. Everyone in the car picks up on his energy. There’s laughter and cheering. Until they get to the next stop. A woman whose pet just passed climbs into the car. Within seconds,

When Carlos and I describe what we do, we often compare our litigation practice to working in an emergency room. We never know what the day will bring, what fires we’ll have to put out. But we do know that whatever comes our way needs to be resolved immediately. Whether it’s dealing with the aftermath of a Homeland Security raid, protecting a client’s trade secrets after an executive jumps ship to work for a competitor, or ensuring a whistleblower is out of harm’s way after s

When we told people what we were planning, they said we were crazy. They listed all the things that could go wrong. They said we’d never be able to pull it off. Boy, did we prove them wrong. A Dream Come True-ish This summer, Carlos and I spent almost six weeks traveling through Europe and Africa. We brought along our four kids — and our full-time jobs — to combine a family vacation with a working holiday. It was the realization of a dream that has evolved over the past decad

Earlier this year, I wrote a post about recognizing the signs of a bad boss. As I was reading over it recently, it struck me that I had left out another common pattern that leads to problems in the workplace. I like to call it “The Toxic Triangle.” Here’s how it works. And what you can do when you’ve found yourself sucked in. Understanding the Toxic Triangle In almost all cases, the toxicity starts at the top of the organization. There’s a manager, let’s call her Rosa, who is

Randi Zuckerberg (you may have heard of her brother, Mark) sparked an interesting conversation in the entrepreneurial world with the following tweet: She identified five priorities: building meaningful relationships, having a successful career, getting enough (or even close to enough) sleep, spending time with family and staying in shape. Then she said it was impossible for entrepreneurs to accomplish all five. Randi suggested there were only enough hours in the day to focus

I love taking notes. Not just taking notes, but physically writing things down. And while I’m always game to try the latest note-taking app or gadget, I haven’t been able to stick with any of them. I always end up returning to my trusty pen and paper. I’ve never been able to explain why I prefer such an old-fashioned system. Until I read this fascinating article about the science of note-taking. Better Notes = Better Recall In the article, college students were given the choi

For the past few years, Carlos and I have had a dream. We want to travel more. But we don’t necessarily want to take long periods of time off from work. One night, over a bottle (or two) of wine, we got to talking. What if we didn’t have to choose between work and travel? What if we simply packed up our laptops and ran our business from a remote office? We would still hustle, of course, but we would hustle from a coworking space in Spain or an apartment in Morocco. And when w

When you work in employment law, you become an expert at recognizing the patterns that lead to problems in the workplace. Nine times out of 10, the issues our clients face are the result of toxicity in their organization. And almost always, that toxicity started at the top and trickled down the chain of command until everyone on the team was miserable. This pattern of trickle-down toxicity isn’t just reserved for the workplace. Whenever people are part of a hierarchy — be it

Since going into business for myself, I’ve recognized a pattern. Every few years, the stress of running my own firm and juggling the millions of demands on my time and energy builds up. Suddenly I find that I’m not responding to my life, I’m reacting to it. It’s like my body goes into permanent fight or flight mode. I have a pretty high tolerance for stress, so it takes a while for me to see what’s happening. It’s not until the symptoms have gone too far — that I’ve gained we

At my office, I have a bit of a reputation. My colleagues call me a techie as I’m always bringing in new tools and gadgets that promise to make our lives as lawyers easier. Some of my recent hits include InvoiceSherpa, which helps with managing the books. Then there’s Xero, an accounting app that allows me to see my finances in real time (gone are the days when I used to have to wait on my accountant to tally the numbers at month’s end!) Another tool I love is Calendar Rules,

Shortly after graduating from law school I became interested in education law. I’ve always been a big believer in the power of public education. The chance to help make the field better really appealed to me. When I got the chance to work on a case for a local school board early on in my career, I took to it like a dog to a bone. I was so excited and eager to please. I got proactive, called the client, and when he said he was going to come by the office, I practically jumped

If you’ve ever done P90X or CrossFit, you know that after such an intense workout, you are completely fatigued and drained. Every part of your body — your heart, your lungs, your muscles, even your cells — just wants to rest and recuperate. This is common knowledge. Even if we’ve never done a single burpee, we know that physical activity strains the body. But I don’t think we appreciate the strain and fatigue associated with emotions. Every event we experience has an associat